Setting Yourself Up to Fail

1 Understand the core chain

1. An upcoming challenge or evaluation threatens your self-esteem
2. An obstacle or handicap is unconsciously created in advance (procrastinating, under-preparing, staying up late)
3. Performance suffers because of this self-made obstacle
4. Failure is blamed on the obstacle rather than on your ability
5. Your real ability stays untested, and the underlying fear stays unresolved

“Creating an excuse in advance protects you from one very specific fear – that failing would really be about ability, not circumstances.”

2 Recognise how it shows up

• Body: A strange pull towards behaviours that clearly undermine an upcoming challenge.
• Thoughts: “I’ll just say I didn’t have enough time”, “If it goes badly, it’s not really about my abilities.”
• Behaviours: Procrastinating heavily before something important, creating circumstances that make failure more likely.

One isolated sign is not enough to define a pattern.

3 The cycle how it keeps going

1. Threatening challenge
2. Obstacle created in advance
3. Performance drops
4. Failure blamed on obstacle
5. Real ability stays untested

…and back to the start.

4 Explore questions to go further

• What ability or outcome am I really protecting myself from finding out about?
• What would it mean to prepare fully and still not succeed?
• What would really be tested if the obstacle wasn’t there?

5 Go deeper needs and beliefs

6 Next steps where to go from here

• Notice your specific pattern of self-made obstacles before challenges.
• Choose one upcoming challenge to prepare for fully, without the usual handicap.
• Afterwards, reflect on what you actually learnt, whatever the outcome.